Sunday, August 31, 2008

desolation

0 comments Posted by seshari at 6:00 AM

..an old woman sitting on her rocking chair looking blankly outside.
..a face with bloodshot eyes under the blackest of veils.
..a star seeing its fellows but never getting close to them.
..the sound of rain hitting the pavement.
..an old bony dog with his chains clattering as he walk.
..remnants of a once-beautiful and now-abandoned house.
..silence and darkness.
..a wrecked car.
..a man calling his family overseas.
..a woman in her thirties telling her mother, "can't you remember who i am?" her mother peacefully sat on the rocking chair, still looking blankly outside. when she looked at her child, she said, "sorry, who are you again?"

 

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Wednesday, August 6, 2008

..i want a laptop..

0 comments Posted by seshari at 2:11 AM

..uhh, i may be looking hysterical when i say this..

..but hey!!! i want a laptop!!! (with lots of exclamation points)
..whatever. i just badly want one.

..maybe it's part envy and part desperation. do i have to exaggerate on this? you basically know what i mean. well, i just want something to talk about. and laptop is the first thing that came in my badly-maintained mind.

..again, i want a laptop. or maybe a laugh top. something that makes me tumble over because of laughter. because now, all i know is i have a laugh tough. i can't laugh. no no no. i'm worrying about my acads. oh, do i make myself grade-conscious? are all grade-conscious people having a laugh tough? well, i want to make myself clear. i'm not grade-conscious. i'm just having a laugh tough because of tough nap. you know, when i worry about my acads, i can hardly sleep. and then, OH! a tough nap would eventually turn to a laugh cough. maybe it's because of the bad weather. it's not just a bad weather, really, but a crazy weather. it keeps changing and changing! imagine myself worrying about about my grades, (how am i gonna get a grade higher than 3 in Math 17?), and having a tough nap that results to a laugh cough. i'm pathetic. maybe i'm better if i can half laugh. or much better if i can laugh pop. if you guys don't know, laugh pop is something you do when you pop (or fart) of too much laughing. yeah, maybe a laugh fart! or whatever!

..all i want is a laptop. i want to have a laugh talk, too. or a lollipop. or something like a lamb chop. i dunno. now i know, i want so many things... (sighs!)

..maybe a laptop can bring me a laugh pop. or a laugh fart. maybe a laptop can ease my laugh tough. maybe...

..but now, i'm having all these. is it because i don't have a laptop to laugh at? or am i just being a big top laugh? (like the clowns and other fools). or maybe i'm cracking my head. i'm having a laptop crap. a laklak (that's when you drink beer in Filipino). a crack top.

..insanity.

 

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Sunday, August 3, 2008

tears of joy

0 comments Posted by seshari at 5:23 AM

n0 0ne has ever held my hand like he did...

His hand was warm and tender
that i wished he would h0ld me forever..
It had a magical t0uch that i would never forget
and n0 0ne will ever have that hand,i bet...

His hand made me secure as he held me tight
and carefree 'cause it was s0 light..
it made me experience things bey0nd my imaginati0n
and made me feel things bey0nd typical em0ti0ns..

His hand s0othed me like an angel
and gently swung me in his cradle...
it was s0 sweet like his whispers-
"you're the 0nly 0ne that matters."

n0 0ne has ever held my hand like he did...

But,that was bef0re..
Bef0re he shut d d0or..
And wen he held me,his hand was warm n0 m0re...

His hand was c0Ld and sweaty
then said, "i love her,i'm s0rry"
his tears fell d0wn with glee
wen i said that i would set him free..

His hand gripped me s0 tight
but it remained c0Ld like the night..
wet like the falling rain
r0ugh like a rusty chain...

And the rainy night started to wash my happiness away
his tears 0f j0y wiped 0ut my cheerful day..
as i w0ke up leaving my very g0od dream,i knew
i must face d nightmare, d reality, and g0 through..

n0 0ne has ever held my hand like he did...

His hand that sent shivers d0wn my spine...
His hand that t0Ld me everything would be fine...
His hand that embraced me when i was afraid..
His hand that did everything so that my smile wouldn't fade...
I will miss his hand...
And i will surely miss him...
C0z he will never ever h0Ld my hand again...
Never...

23102007
1st draft...



 

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..the real essence of happiness..

0 comments Posted by seshari at 5:13 AM

..what do you think will make you happy? that's the ultimate question.. and well, there's no ultimate answer to that..

..i just remembered the essay exam my philo teacher gave us. it's about the real essence of happiness. and what is happiness, really? i can't answer that directly. i think nobody could.
..happiness is NOT pleasure or satisfaction. it's more than those things. it's not the feeling when one gets something he desires. it's not the feeling of winning the lottery or having sex. it's not what i thought it is. and the same goes with all of you. happiness is not a worldly occurrence. it's not seen by the naked eyes.

..seeing the reality will make one happy, but not fully. and what reality does he need to see? Violence, poverty, war, immorality, evil -- these are the things lurking around us. lots of questions need to be answered. we are never contented. how can we be happy? this is the reality. simply, one should understand the reality that he can never be fully happy. and once he accepted it and go on with his life -- the good acts and right way of living -- it will add up to his happiness. ironic, isn't it?

..but he needs to understand. although he can't comprehend it all. he should be aiming for the good end. heaven. with god. this is where he can be truly happy. well, nobody knows about the real face of heaven. but we know and believe that here is where genuine happiness is. that's why happiness encompasses everything -- achievement, love, contentment, and success. that's why we live to attain the good end.

..that's what life is all about. knowing one's purpose. being free thinking good men. remember the phrase, "the unexamined life is not worth living." now what can make you happy? nothing, really. death, maybe. but every good thing you do will be a bearing to the ultimate happiness you want to attain.

..the real essence of happiness is deep within our hearts, inscribed in our minds, and made visible through our actions.

 

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dirty politics in our soiled country

0 comments Posted by seshari at 5:08 AM

Seshari says:
“How dirty is politics in our country? Is it really unattainable to clean the mess and straight the mistakes of our political leaders?”


First of all, I am not generalizing our politicians. I still believe that there are those leaders who serve the country wholeheartedly and without bad ulterior motives. The country is progressing, yes, although rather slowly. Thanks to those with good hearts who cannot take the bad state of the nation, to those who act for the better, and to those who use their power in the right way.
But these good political leaders are not the topic here. I am speaking of those who keep repeating the same mistakes and taking huge advantage of their positions in the government to do unjustifiable things. It is very disappointing to hear over the news that some of the biggest political figures are questioned about their ill-gotten wealth. The never-ending problem on graft and corruption is still unsolved. Political dynasties are set all over the country. Intense rivalries among officials lead to assassinations and ambushes. Bribery and pay-offs are very common during elections. Impeachment complaints can be heard here and there. Extrajudicial killings are just like games of hide-and-seek for them. Justice and integrity are set aside for power and luxury. And to think that this is a Catholic country, it is very annoying that they are losing the sense of morality.

I am not saying that all the problems that the country faces are accountable to these politicians. But I know that one of the biggest topics nowadays is the political crisis. And what are they doing to prove that they are worthy of their positions? Sitting on their swiveling chairs all day and watching the poor begging for alms? Relaxing in their air-conditioned rooms while the laborers are thinking hard of how to get an extra income to feed their families? Working on those laws about taxes and other things they want to pass for their own benefits?

Now, that’s the real challenge for them. They should stop doing wicked things for the sake of the country and its people. They should be unattached to worldly things that make them greedy and sinful. They should realize that there are some things more important than material wealth, like honor and responsibility. Changes are really hard to do, but they should remember their oath to the whole country, their promises, the chances we give them, and the millions of people waiting for their sincere actions towards a better Philippines.

And for us, fellow citizens, we should also accept challenges. We should not grumble all day about the bad shape of our country. Rather, we should fight for our rights and take part in the development and progress of our nation. We should be wise enough to know the right step, the right decision, the right choice, and the right action. Complaining about irresponsible politicians will only make everything worse. So, instead of protesting along the roads, let us keep hoping and believing that there is good in every person, and in every politician. Like what we hear so many times, we must be united. And when someone asks what’s happening to our country, we will simply say, “It is becoming the Philippines that we, Filipinos, are dreaming of.”

 

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